Managing Expectations

3 Steps to Manage Your Parenting Expectations

5th August 2023

It’s so important to have an awareness of unrealistic expectations you may have of yourself as a parent. Both inner conflicts inside your mind, and conflicts within your family can arise as a direct consequence of having unrealistic expectations, causing stress on all of you.

Developing realistic expectations of our children, and ourselves, can go a long way in preventing struggles, and creating calm.

One of the challenges in raising children (who are wired quite differently to us) is figuring out what are reasonable expectations, and what is asking too much for our quite unique child. 

We can get caught up in what we think we, and our children, ‘SHOULD’ be doing based on what we perceive as social ‘norm’.

Letting go of constraining expectations will allow you to grow as a better and more accepting parent.

Here's my 3 Step Approach to Managing Your Parenting Expectations 

Step 1 - Acknowledge

Whereabouts in your parenting do you think you have un-realistic expectations of: 

Yourself 

Your child

If you find this difficult to see, imagine situations where you struggle to watch something happening to a good friend, from that viewpoint can you spot unrealistic expectations that you have for yourself? Or even ask a friend who knows you well to help you with this exercise!  

Write down as many as you can think of: 

A) I have unrealistic expectations of myself in terms of … 

B) I have unrealistic expectations of my child in terms of … 

Step 2 – Challenge 

Now, for each of these expectations, write down a slightly more realistic expectation of yourself. Write down as many as you can.

A more realistic expectation of myself would be…

A more realistic expectation of my child would be…

It's a lovely thing to buy a nice journal to write these things in.

Step 3 – Apply & Review

Put these into practice and review them regularly, as you, and your child, grow together, because these expectations will change over time, or you may find that a new expectation you have set for yourself still needs tweaking a little to ensure you are gaining success, or meeting that expectation more regularly. 

My wish for you is that with renewed, realistic expectations of yourself and your children, you will continue to parent more peacefully and keep strengthening positive relationships with your child. 

Please, feel free to connect with me, and let me know how you get on!