Parenting Styles & Strategies

There are four main types of parenting, and although they may be interpreted and moulded into different styles, they are crucial to understanding the fundamentals of parenting. Each style impacts child behaviour in differing ways, and parents may move between them rather than sticking to one type. 

Firstly, the permissive parenting style puts the wants of the child at the heart of the approach, with a limited enforcement of rules and expectations. Within this type of parenting, conflict is largely avoided by yielding to the child’s desires. On the opposite end of the scale is the authoritarian parent, involving rigid rules with little consideration for the child’s feelings and desires. This approach utilises a one-way communication style within which the parent enforces strict discipline without room for the child’s involvement. 

Lying between these two stances is the authoritative parent, a style that incorporates both an understanding of the child’s feelings and the setting of boundaries and rules that aid the child’s development. Unlike both previous parenting styles, authoritative parents operate a two-way communication system to meet the child’s needs whilst cultivating a disciplined upbringing. The authoritative parent also utilises natural consequences from their child’s choices, but supports the child to understand repercussions of their actions. 

Finally, the neglectful parent stands apart from the aforementioned styles, taking a literal hands-off approach to their child’s upbringing. It is important to mention that this style may be unconsciously adopted for personal reasons, but involves minimal interaction with their child and no enforcement of discipline, rules, or boundaries. 

These four parenting styles are based on the work of psychologist Diana Baumrind at the University of California in the 1960s, alongside expansive work by Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin at Stanford University in the 1980s. More recently, more tailored parenting styles have dominated social media, influencing parents to adopt more positive and mindful stances. These parenting styles are similar with slight differences, built on the foundations of healthy communication and positive emotional wellbeing, whilst eliminating negative discipline.

Arguably the most well known parenting style in the current media sphere is gentle parenting, an approach that creates a harmonious and beneficial relationship between parent and child to cultivate positive emotional development. At first glance, this style may echo authoritative parenting, however gentle parenting eliminates all negative punishment, however still employs boundaries, respect, understanding, and compassion to cultivate positive behaviours. Peaceful parenting operates a similar cooperative relationship between parent and child, however focuses on the calmness of the parent to cultivate a positive parenting approach. Peaceful parents endeavour to create a loving and tranquil environment for raising children. 

Mindful parenting focuses on being fully present and aware during interactions with the child, providing undivided attention and adopting emotional awareness to cultivate effective communication and well-being. Similarly, conscious parenting encourages parents to look inwards, reflecting on their own behaviours to eliminate unconscious negative patterns and triggers that impact their parenting. This approach leads to a nurturing and respectful parenting style. Finally, intentional parenting, as the name suggests, involves making intentional decisions to prioritise the well-being and development of the child based on scientifically-supported strategies. 

All of these parenting styles are based on the ethos of positive parenting, which champions positive discipline, respect, and compassion through teaching and encouragement. Each of these parenting styles do not incorporate negative discipline and punishment, such as time outs, groundings, and confiscating belongings. 

There are many more parenting styles, too many to cover in one blog post, however some more unique and obscure approaches include lighthouse parenting, which considers the parent to be the guiding ‘lighthouse’ in a child’s development, and ostrich parenting, which involves black-and-white thinking that restricts the parent to traditional reward and punishment parenting systems. 

As you can see, there are an infinite number of parenting styles that often borrow off of each other, picking and choosing elements to include or exclude from their approach. Parenting styles cannot be categorised to a numbered list, but rather parents forge their own parenting identities based on their values, attitudes, and beliefs. I would like you to consider which elements you include in your individual parenting style, and discover your own parenting identity. It would be great to hear your own approaches, feel free to share them with me by commenting on this blog post or getting in touch.